In a work-related context, I have given myself a bigger and more demanding task than I normally do. Basically, it is about a form of passing on what feels like a hugely valuable treasure filled with gold and gems that I received as a psychotherapist student at the Vedfelt Institute.

The study process at the institute became a passion. A journey that was also painful at times, but through heart meetings, internships, exercises, meditation and what can best be described as grace, it became life-changing. I felt the intention to pass on the gift long before the study and the inner and outer journey were complete.
But after five years of education and another five years of intensive training and life journey, something in me began to feel ready to pass on. To lead groups of people into therapeutic work with nighttime dreams.

This is the demanding task I face.
Before I go into it, I am aware that it will activate old adaptation patterns that I have with me from the upbringing that became mine. Nevertheless, and perhaps precisely for this reason, it becomes important for me to challenge myself and pursue the intention of passing on all that I had been given.

As the time approaches for completing the task, I feel a bodily tension that is familiar to me. An adaptation pattern that is about not filling up comes into view. I feel the usual restlessness, slight dizziness and a kind of reality blur.

I realize that I am heading down a biographical path that has often prevented me from completing projects that were important to me.

As I notice this, I bring my attention to the body and to the fact that I am breathing.

I feel the air,

flowing in through the nose

and the air,

flowing out again.

Breath after breath.

Slowly, the tension in my body begins to loosen.

I visualize – probably with contact to some form of basic creativity in my system – my spiritual teacher, who is experienced as standing right behind me. I feel the support in my back to continue to focus on my breathing. I imagine that together we follow the flow of energy from the crown center to the root center and up again. Over and over again.

I notice that people from the sangha I am a part of appear in my consciousness. One by one. A semicircle of heart people 'stand' behind me. I lean into what is for me a practice space – a heart space.

From there, I fill myself out and hold the space for people who have been trustingly searching for a place to go with their dreams. I feel that this is not something I do alone. I experience on a very physical level that I am part of a network – a sangha, which is connected to a spiritual teacher.

The people I am present for only see me, but I know it is different. I experience a deep sense of togetherness.

And maybe, I don't know, maybe the group of people realizes it too...