“Sell your cleverness
Buy bewilderment”
– Rumi

“What, are you ready for the club tournament on Saturday?

It's going to be intense – we're going to see who is the best blue belt in Siam!” Frederik says teasingly.

I never know if his statements match his actual worldview or if he's just trying to throw me off balance. "I'm just coming to have a good time," I reply.

Partly because it's true, but partly because I know that the party at the university on Friday night significantly hinders my chances of winning.

On the bike ride home, my thoughts race. It's just a competition for the members of the club, arranged so that those who haven't competed before, or haven't competed that much, can get some blood on their teeth. It doesn't matter who wins. But... there's also a graduation in December. Maybe the coach judges who should get belts based on people's performance? And what will the white belts think of my authority if I lose?

Friday night I decide to just show the flag at the party and hop home for a beer or two. But it's a wild party! And long story short: at 8 am on Sunday morning I'm on my way to Kampsportens hus in Nørrebro with 5 hours of sleep and most likely still a little blood alcohol content.

There's a good atmosphere at the tournament. One match at a time in the middle of the mat, while everyone else sits and cheers from the walls – people roll better than in training because they have all the energy of their friends and the audience behind them, but also better than at the big tournaments, where the adrenaline is a massive challenge.

My first opponent shoots a quick takedown – BAM, he's on top of me. But in a flash I grab his hip, come around behind him and close one arm around his neck, the other behind his head. The stranglehold is in place, and he claps. Victory is mine – we smile and give each other a hug.

The second match, my opponent sits on top of my head for most of the match – but I keep a smile on my face as I frantically try to get him off. The third match is tough, and when it finally seems to be going my way in a frantic race to come out on top, my shoulder dislocates.

Frederik is a referee, and his shoulder has teased him many times before. He sees what is happening immediately and is quick to stop the fight. However, it doesn't seem to be particularly serious, so I decide to fight the last two fights. Here I have completely let go of the fear of losing – I am just completely absorbed in the atmosphere, the movement, the sweat on my forehead. The heart beating and the lungs wheezing. The brain working at high pressure to find the slightest hole in the opponent's defense. It is a dance, and where consciousness sometimes feels dull and unfocused or focused like a laser, here there is a completely chaotic openness. I am enjoying myself.

There was a lot of good jiu jitsu that day. And even though I didn't win any medals, I still won a free trip to the Danish Championship for being the fighter of the day.

Dictionary:

BJJ: Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Martial art without punches and kicks, where elements from wrestling and judo are combined with "submissions", i.e. joint manipulations and strangulations.
Blue belt: Belt rank in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Which goes: White, blue, small, brown, black. It typically takes about 10 years to get a black belt.
Siam: Martial arts club in Nørrebro where BJJ and Muay Thai are trained.

This text was created on Kontemplation's internal writing workshop.

The participants were asked, based on the Rumicitat Sell your cleverness, buy bewilderment, to write a blog post of no more than one A4 page within 15 minutes.