![\"Havet](\"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/dorte-at-give-slip.jpg\")
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I walk along the shore. The waves crash into each other from several sides and collide, creating chaos in the water where I stand. As nature often feels like a metaphor, this evening too, as I walk and ponder the theme, when did I let go and set free?<\/p>\n
Very significant choices from my life are right there as perfect examples. They trip for speaking time as almost puppet-like exemplary data that when I have dared to let go of a truly true place and made life-changing choices with my heart, the rest follows and falls into place, so one has to wonder.<\/p>\n
But something else insists inside tonight. A soft plea to use the opportunity to look at what is currently gnawing at the heart, where there is anything but release or a sense of choice. Since I haven't brought any writing materials to the beach anyway, I go with this insistence and let the words take shape as they will in the wind as I walk along the water's edge. At first the words come as questions. Soon more as stark statements \u2013 if you don't figure out how to let go, you'll lose 100%. No, even more, because the struggle doubles the suffering... The tears come.<\/p>\n
I imagine a line of loved ones. They are still here. Or\u2026 They are getting smaller and smaller. Or thinner and thinner, a little more transparent each time I see them. Whether it is age or dementia, it does not change the panic I feel inside. An old familiar feeling of being abandoned \u2013 and the impulse to shout, to run after and not let the door close and leave me alone. But there is no door. I can\u2019t call out to anyone.<\/p>\n
Age and illness have always crept up on people, so why am I whining? My mind is not speaking so gently tonight, pointing out that losing is a condition.<\/p>\n
The sky is magnificent with black cloud formations over the beach. The raindrops splash a little sporadically, and quite poetically they mix with the tears. I will remember a very specific expression that suddenly appeared in his eyes one day and gave me unease. It reminded me of the expression that gradually took over my Grandmother's eyes along with dementia many years ago. When I experience that look again, the sadness emerges. An old one and a new one.<\/p>\n
How do I let go here?<\/p>\n
I feel it. To let go here is to lose. It doesn't feel life-giving at all like setting free. More like opening myself up to loss. If I'm not going to fight against reality, but let go into what is, then... then it's a raw experience of loss. Loss of people I love.<\/p>\n
When death takes a loved one away, there are rituals of mourning and farewell, of celebrating in gratitude all that was. In this kind of gradual, somewhat taboo loss, there are no rituals. Here there is confusion. Silence. For me, also avoidance. It makes me completely unhappy when I discover that because something has changed, I become insecure and withdraw from contact. But they are still here, in a way at least.<\/p>\n
And the love in me is unchanged, I remind myself. The sorrow is here too, but because it disappears more gradually, imperceptibly like the sand that slowly runs through my fingers, it becomes so diffuse.<\/p>\n
Letting go here is really one of those existential exercises I seem to find myself in again and again. Specifically in this situation, being with the person who is now. Letting go of the struggle for them to be as they were before. Opening myself up to the loss, to the grief and<\/em> for the love that, regardless of the gaze, the transparency, and the loss of reciprocity, is still here.<\/p>\n To let go tonight is to walk with my feet in the water, to let the sound of the ocean ripple through me with my breath. To physically breathe through these facts that people of inestimable importance in every way in my life are now gradually slipping further and further away, like the wave retreating into the ocean. \u00a0<\/p>\n Yes. That's how it is. Tears. Let go.<\/p>\n Photo: Martin Guldberg and Dorte Lunderskov<\/span><\/p>\n This blog post is part of a series of texts we call LETTING GO TO SET FREE<\/p>\n To make room for crucial changes in our lives, we sometimes have to let go of something else.<\/p>\n Saying goodbye to the familiar to open ourselves to It is not uncommon for the bigger the change, the more it demands of us. And the riskier it can feel to let go.<\/p>\n The blog post you have just read was written as part of an invitation to Kontemplation's bloggers to reflect on precisely this:<\/p>\n When have you experienced having to let go of something significant in order to move towards greater freedom or meaning? Towards more love or a deeper foundation in life? And what experiences have you had that might be helpful to others?<\/p>\n You can read the bloggers' personal reflections on these questions here on the blog.<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Jeg g\u00e5r i strandkanten. B\u00f8lgerne v\u00e6lter hulter til bulter fra flere sider og t\u00f8rner sammen og giver et kaos i vandet, hvor jeg st\u00e5r. Som ofte f\u00f8les naturen som et…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":388,"featured_media":41989,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":[],"meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[478],"tags":[],"person":[435],"class_list":["post-42002","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-saarbarhed-og-styrke","person-dorte-lunderskov"],"subtitle":"","embedded_audio":"","hasaudio":"0","hide_featured_image_on_post":"1","nobio":"0","infobox":"Dette blogindl\u00e6g er en del af en serie tekster vi kalder AT GIVE SLIP FOR AT S\u00c6TTE FRI\r\n\r\nFor at give plads til afg\u00f8rende forandringer i vores liv m\u00e5 vi af og til give slip p\u00e5 noget andet.\r\n\r\nAt tage afsked med det velkendte for at \u00e5bne os for\r\ndet, der er p\u00e5 vej, kan v\u00e6re en enkel proces. Men den kan ogs\u00e5 v\u00e6re sk\u00e6bnesvanger.\r\n\r\nIkke sj\u00e6ldent er det s\u00e5dan, at jo st\u00f8rre forandringen er, desto mere kr\u00e6ver den af os. Og desto mere risikabelt kan det f\u00f8les at give slip.\r\n\r\nDet blogindl\u00e6g, du netop har l\u00e6st, er skrevet som en del af en invitation til Kontemplations blogskribenter om at reflektere over netop dette:\r\n\r\nHvorn\u00e5r har du oplevet at m\u00e5tte give slip p\u00e5 noget betydningsfuldt for at bev\u00e6ge dig mod st\u00f8rre frihed eller mening? Mod mere k\u00e6rlighed eller et dybere fundament i tilv\u00e6relsen? Og hvilke erfaringer har du gjort dig, som m\u00e5ske kan v\u00e6re til hj\u00e6lp for andre?\r\n\r\nBlogskribenternes personlige refleksioner over disse sp\u00f8rgsm\u00e5l kan du l\u00e6se her p\u00e5 bloggen.","quote":"","year_published":"2026","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42002","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/388"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42002"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42002\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42335,"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42002\/revisions\/42335"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/41989"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42002"},{"taxonomy":"person","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/person?post=42002"},{"taxonomy":"format","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kontemplation.dk\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/format?post=42002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nWhat is coming may be a simple process. But it can also be fateful.<\/p>\n